Celebrating the Career of Pirates' Legend Oliver Perez

Excuse me John, but that’s Pirates legend Oliver Perez. While he pitched more for the Mets and clocked innings for eight teams, Perez will always belong to Pittsburgh thanks to one crazy summer in 2004.

Yes, once upon a time, Perez was a sign of hope for a rudderless franchise. He was a 22-year-old mini-Randy Johnson with a triple-digit fastball, wipeout slider, and don’t give a f*ck attitude. His numbers from that season were just delicious: 2.98 ERA over 196 innings with a 1.153 WHIP and 11 Ks/9. 

His best came against Houston in September of 2004 when he struck out 14 over eight dominant innings against a roided-up Astros lineup that included Jeff Bagwell, Craig Biggio, Lance Berkman, Carlos Beltran, and Jeff Kent. This was not Zach Duke trying to keep hitters off-balance with a 87-mile-per-hour fastball, but a flame throwing killer sent from outer space to dominate opposing hitters.

The Pirates would go 72-89 that season, but with Perez, a 25-year-old Jason Bay hitting 26 home runs in 120 games and – holy shit – Craig Wilson belting 29 home runs, there was actually some optimism.

My lasting memory of Perez is kind of random. I was working in Philadelphia after just graduating college and drove out to beautiful Johnstown (the meth capital of Central Pennsylvania!) to visit my then-girlfriend who was performing in a rendition of Romeo & Juliet.

(SIDEBAR: My girlfriend wanted to be an actress, and that summer was cast not as Juliet – but Juliet’s mother - in the Johnstown Podunk Players Summer Community Theater Shitshow. I am not one to crap on someone’s dreams, BUT if you want to be a famous actress and can’t get the lead role in your local screw-around Shakespeare production, you may not be destined to be the next Jennifer Lawrence.)

During intermission, I went to my car to check on the game. I listened as Perez mowed down the Cubs on the way to a Pirates victory. There was also some Sheetz involved. I may have missed a large part of the second act but my girlfriend had like six lines, so who cares, right? 

Anyway, the Pirates were flirting with .500, which was fairly exciting for the time.

Sadly, that 2004 season would be more of a haunting of lost promise than the start of a stellar career for Perez. The Pirates rightfully hyped him up going into the 2005 season with this delightful commercial.

Perez struggled early in 2005 with his control before kicking a laundry cart in frustration, breaking his big toe and sending him to the disabled list. 2006 would go even worse with Perez sporting a 2-10 record and 6.63 ERA before Dave Littlefield traded his to the Mets for Xavier Nady.

Now, in hindsight, the trade turned out not to be terrible. Nady was a perfectly fine outfielder, and Perez was mostly trash for New York (his 2007 was decent) but trading 24-year-old left-handed starting pitchers just two seasons removed from greatness is never a good idea. 

A strange thing then happened. After being out of baseball in 2011, Perez re-emerged as a half-decent lefty relief pitcher. He’d come in for a few batters, throw like seven pitches, and call it a night. It was a good life, and he was good at it. He would continue this for another decade, pitching for Seattle, Arizona, Houston, Washington and Cleveland until he was released that spring. During that time, he became the longest-tenured Mexican-born pitcher in major league history.

Perez made the Indians out of spring training last year but was quickly cut. He then signed with Toros de Tijuana of the Mexican Baseball League, where he gets to strike out dudes like this one who are easily pushing 300 pounds.

I always hoped Perez would get another shot in the big leagues, although life as a washed-up relief pitcher in Tijuana sounds pretty amazing (Perez basically became Kenny Powers). His career is one of excitement, lost potential, and finally, perseverance. Happy trails, Ollie.