The Biggest Pirates Win in Years: Cole Tucker and Vanessa Hudgens Are Officially Dating

Hudgens continues to act and produce, and at age 32 will soon enter the Dancing With the Stars/Hallmark Channel movie phase of her career.

And for those joining us today thanks to a misguided Google search to learn about Vanessa’s new boyfriend, know that Cole is a nice kid with good hair and solid Arizona “bro” energy. Sadly, he has struggled a bit at playing baseball. He was drafted with the 24th pick in the first round of the 2014 draft as a slick-fielding shortstop, but a bad shoulder injury, an inability to hit, and a deep roster of middle infielders in the Pirates organization have relegated him to an afterthought.

With all of that said, I am beyond thrilled at this relationship and hope Vanessa’s love turns him into a switch-hitting Derek Jeter that leads the Pirates to the World Series.

Here are some random thoughts from a devoted Pirates Blogger and Fan:

• Great work here Cole, we are all proud of you.
  
• Assuming fans can go to the stadium in some form this year, how many games does Hudgens attend? I put the over/under at 3.5. I’m also very excited about her obligatory interview with Robby Incmikoski during the 4th inning of a weekday afternoon game against the Reds.
• If Hudgens does take in a game at PNC Park, she’ll likely watch calmly from a private box while wearing a bedazzled Pirates hat. I do hold out hope she goes full Yinzer, sitting in the left-field bleachers drinking an IC Light while wearing a Troy Polamalu jersey and yelling at Ryan Braun to go to hell.
  
• Vanessa, if you are reading, I have one favor to ask: Please don’t go all Anna Benson on us.

For those too young to remember, Anna was the wife of Pirates pitcher Kris Benson (and 1996 No. 1 overall draft pick) who liked to tell the world about their sexual adventures. What made it more awkward was that Kris had the personality of a bowl of mayonnaise, so these revelations were more jarring than anything else.

Of course, it didn’t end there as Anna became the Babe Ruth of batshit crazy baseball wives, including, but not limited to: Telling Howard Stern she would sleep with all of Kris’ teammates on the Mets if he cheated on her; posing provocatively in Playboy, FHM, and other men’s magazines; breaking into Kris’ house in 2013 with a gun and threatening to kill him; sitting down for a heart-to-heart with Dr. Phil, and getting ejected from the World Series of Poker for cursing too much.

No, seriously.

Also I didn't know this, but Anna was CHARGED WITH MURDER when she was 19 years old. The New York Daily News has a fascinating story on the case, which I will not go into now, but this is just to let Miss Hudgens know the bar for former Pirates’ spouses was quite low.

Hudgens famously dated Efron, her co-star in the High School Musical franchise, and someone named Austin Butler who is semi-famous among the Disney/Nickelodeon crowd, which I’m too old to understand or care. I bring this up because I Googled Mr. Butler and found pictures like this:

I have so many questions. If Cole gets demoted, will Vanessa attend any of his games this year in Altoona? Will she visit the Railroaders Memorial while there?

If things don’t work out with Tucker, I would like to be the first to introduce Hudgens to 2024 National League batting champion Nick Gonzales.

Whew, is it getting hot in here?

I predict Nick the Stick will become a fan-favorite among the ladies and could replace Francisco Cervelli in providing love advice on the scoreboard between innings. I am also starting a campaign to make him the next Bachelor.

Speaking of Cervelli, we never appreciated that guy enough. Dude is a legend.

All bad jokes aside, I am happy for Cole and Vanessa. We can all agree that Cole is punching above his weight class here, but love knows no boundaries. Here is to the happy couple! And Vanessa, if you do anything to hurt him, we’ll find Anna Benson to come after you.

David Stegon writes about the Pirates for Yinzer Crazy. Follow him on Twitter: @davidstegon.